I wrote to my sweet twin and explained to him about why I did what I did. I didn’t expect him to write back, I just wanted to get some things off of my chest about our twin flame situation. We haven’t talked, but I sensed that my words clarified some things for him.
I love him so much. I’m open to a relationship with him, but I understand things take time and he needs to heal from how things went down. I hope he’ll forgive me.
I went to my brother’s engagement party and it was nice. Made me think about what it could be like to marry my twin. It has always felt like my twin and I are already married; it’s something that really scared him LOL
I admitted to him that I’m frightened of this love too. I tried to be all arrogant and act like I was SO enlightened. Yeah right!!!! One thing about a twin flame relationship is that it KICKS YOUR PRIDE IN THE ASS!!!! My ego has had its ass handed to it a lot. I have realized that there’s no room for ego in this love.
I miss my sweet twin love. I have been talking to him using my heart like a walkie-talkie. I feel like he hears/feels me when I reach out that way. Last week I had an INTENSE purging. I sent him the “flying dreams” song that I had posted and then I was just sobbing uncontrollably. I wasn’t sad or lonely, it was just a LOT of emotion. I really felt like he was crying too, right along with me because it was soooo incredibly intense and cleansing.
I’ve also realized that my twin doesn’t say what he means when it comes to this twin thing. For example, he might say he’s not the one for me, but then he’ll get teary-eyed and try to hide it from me. We both try to act so tough around each other but we’re both helpless little children when it comes to each other. I finally know how deeply he loves me. I didn’t want to believe it before, but now I do. I love him just as deeply.
So we’ll see what happens. I hope God will bring him to me soon. I miss him so much, I miss his sweet little smoochie kisses and his strong hugs. I miss his smell, his eyes, his face, his beard, touching his hair. His voice, laughing with him and spending time with him, making love.
I feel in my heart, body and soul that he wants to return to me…I feel it. The magnetism is there, it’s always there, but these last couple days I have actually FELT it. So I’m going to keep my energy calm and even, nice & clear.
I hope he comes back to me soon.