Faith Restored

This weekend I dealt with DEEP and SERIOUS struggles within myself about this twin flame union.  It was just a lot of questioning and doubt and FEAR about my twin and what is going on between us and our future.

Even last night/this morning I was still struggling with it, but today is a new day, it is BEAUTIFUL outside!!!!! I am looking forward to getting outside and enjoying God’s creation.  I realized that I have wasted SO MUCH ENERGY on fear!!! There have been so many moments where I was living in the moment, feeling so much joy and feeling empowered because I had FAITH and trust in the Lord that things would work out and that He has my back.  He truly does, and I don’t know WHY I let myself forget that!!! God loves me and I have been through SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much in my life to find myself where I currently am and I am amazed!!! I am doing pretty well for myself, considering where I was before and how FAR I have come.  I am realizing that I fell into fear BECAUSE I am not keeping my eyes, mind, heart and soul on God and gratitude.

I saw this video on twin flames and how as twins we are setting an example for our twin.  I have repented and I will continue to repent and prove myself to God that I am worthy of His love and my twin’s love.  I have to face God in judgment for my sins and what I have done, and I won’t deny that or hide from it.  Now I have an opportunity to do what is right.

I feel the seeds of joy within my heart in this moment.  I know that it is IMPOSSIBLE to ALWAYS be joyful and that happiness is fleeting and is in moments.  However, I seek to find and CREATE joy whenever possible in my life and the lives of others.  It is one of my purposes for being here on Earth!!! The joy that I feel when I make someone else happy, the look in their eyes when I do something for them.  Creating beauty and cooking, making things with my hands.  These are some of the things that life is worth living for.

I will love my twin REGARDLESS of what is happening in 3D.  There is no denying this deep, endless love that I feel for him.  I want us to be together, but that is GOD’S WILL, not MINE.  I have to follow my path and obey God’s will for me and I truly believe that things will unfold in divine time.  I need to be PATIENT with myself, with God and with my twin.

I have to allow the miraculous to unfold.  I see miracles unfold before me, and I want to be GRATEFUL for these miracles.  For example, there is a boy I am working with who has behavior problems and he is clearly on the spectrum.  I have worked with children who have special needs before, we also have a few other children who are on the spectrum.  Kids are kids, I love them all the same.  This child in particular was REALLY getting to me, really working my patience and out of frustration I was like “what is the PURPOSE of this?!  Why is this happening to us?!”  LOL Knowing FULL WELL that God puts us in situations for us to grow, evolve, become better people, to get closer to God and to make things better by using our abilities.  I was like dude.. get this kid OUT of here, I don’t want him here, he’s biting other kids, I can’t deal with this.

Then I prayed and said “you know what, Lord? I know there’s a reason you brought this child to us.  He needs me.”  This child LOVES me, and I was thinking “Dude….If you ONLY knew how I felt about you right now!!!”LOL.

Well… I prayed for patience and guidance for this little boy, I prayed for him and his family.  He is actually doing better!!! He had to take a day off because he was hurting his friends (he has serious sensory needs) but I GET IT.  I get it.  His behavior really isn’t his fault and I can’t be angry at him for it.  Honestly, he is really growing on me.  I am being much more patient with him now and giving him hugs and letting him know that he is VALUED and loved.  He has people rooting for him and coaching him, and I was angry before, but NOW I see the possibilities in him.  God is good.

I think I should see my twin flame in a similar way too; that his behavior isn’t necessarily all of his fault and that I should be patient with him AND MYSELF as well as we continue this journey.  I love him with all of my heart.  I know that wounds will be healed in time and that if I give him time and space, he will eventually return to me.  He always has and always will.

In the meantime, I asked God to show me signs about my twin flame love, so we’ll see what comes up in the near future.

My faith is restored and I feel strong with the Lord as my backbone… I’ll be working to keep my mind, heart, soul and body focused on God and His plan for me…

Good things are coming my way, I can feel it 🙂

God bless.

❤ ❤ ❤

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