Love of Working (on Myself)

I’m full of joy in my heart these days.  Not because my life is anywhere near perfect (not at all *ahem*) but because I’m learning to appreciate the small things again.  With all the chaos, negativity and ABSOLUTE HORROR in the world, finding joy takes practice.  I’ve realized that as human beings, we aren’t guaranteed a life without suffering; the majority of the people LIVING ON PLANET EARTH are experiencing terrible suffering, and I won’t even try to compare my life to theirs.  We all are meant to suffer as we live on Earth because suffering is part of the human experience and ultimately is what brings us closer to God.  Call it existential, call it religious dogma, call it what you want, but that is what I have learned these last few weeks.

Some of the hell we experience is due to our own making; I know this from personal experience.  A lot of the hell we experience is just life on planet Earth.  This place is a school AND a prison with the stuff of dreams and the stuff of nightmares… *shudder* I won’t get into that right now.

The joy, however, is something that we can all have “bites” of, though.  I can’t expect to be happy 24/7, that would mean I’m “on something.”  That’s just not realistic.  I can find joy in the simplicity of my life and that is what I am learning to do.

I have been more productive lately with work.  Being useful, working hard, doing my very best/putting in max effort of my ability and being pleased with my results just makes me feel more confident about myself.  I have fun at work and it is also challenging which keeps me on my toes and engaged in what I do.

At home, I have been working to find new interests.  I am looking into taking a college class or two this summer.  I will be publishing my novel soon, and I spent this last weekend cleaning, working on portfolios for work, and I ended up re-decorating my apartment a bit.  It’s amazing how a few changes can bring in new energy and add such color and life to a room.  The changes I made make me SO HAPPY when I look at the decorations.  I already love being at my home and now even more so.  I try to find things that inspire me, such as ideas from Pinterest.  I recently made my mom a painting for Mother’s Day and she really liked it.  I know that as long as I can consistently find ways to be creative and find joy in the little things, I may not be happy 100% of every day, but I will be happy most days.  Taking a moment to laugh with kids or dance to a silly song, taking as many opportunities to laugh.  Cooking and eating good, fresh food and watching the plants in your garden grow – these are simple pleasures that all of us can share.

I think people in Twin flame situations think of “working on themselves” as this HUGE, daunting process, but I think it’s more simple than we think.  I think if we find new interests, hobbies and things we are passionate about doing and find ENTHUSIASM for the things we do, we can change our lives in small increments, which are actually BIG STEPS, but not as painful.

(*Of course – I would recommend anyone who has dependencies and addictions, mental instabilities/psychological issues seek help, treatment and support, and that getting help might seem scary but it will make your life a little easier.  Finding healthy coping strategies can help DRAMATICALLY.)

I love my sweet Twin flame darling with ALL of my heart.  He is such a precious love to me.  I know he is working on himself right now and is trying to find his path, as we all are.  I have had to admit to my EGO that I don’t have all the answers, that I hardly know much of what’s going on in this crazy world when it comes to the grand scheme of things.  My twin flame has told me that I can come off has high and mighty sometimes, and I know that that is my ego talking.  I have learned the difference of my EGO’s voice versus my Higher Self’s voice.  Sometimes EGO wins, but I’m seeing that PRAYER does work.  It needs to be consistent though.  We have to be constantly vigilant of the thoughts and impulses happening in our bodies, because we aren’t always the ONLY ones piloting our bodies (I know, scary thought but unfortunately it’s true). Humans are conduits – that’s the extent of what I’ll say here.

I’m also learning to let go of fighting for that “normal” relationship that I didn’t realize I wanted so badly until having problems with my twin flame love.  Even though I know a lot, I am STILL pretty “brainwashed” about what human beings are “supposed” to accomplish in life.  I still would love to be married to my twin flame and to have a family with him, but I am learning that twin flame relationships aren’t always about those things.  I pray that God will bless with me with these things, however nothing in life is guaranteed.  I am still learning to be at peace with this fact and to accept it.  It’s a hard pill to swallow.

Wish me luck and please pray for us 🙂

I know that my love and I will be together again soon, we have grown a lot despite the difficulties we have faced in this twin flame situation.  We have a long way to go and I have faith that somehow things will work out.  They always do.

P.S. I’ve also learned that this planet Earth is a MAGICAL place and that God shows us His miracles EVERY SINGLE DAY – just start asking to see them and you will!!!! The Twin Flame Love is one of those miracles.. I am so thankful to God for it.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

 

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